The Demons of Air and Darkness

Quark slowly lifted the inside edge of the Portable Hole and peered out. What he saw terrified him.

Bare feet. 

Girl feet. 

He and Corvo and Dreezle had gotten a decent night's rest in the hole, tucked away as it was under a shrubbery behind Ferb's Fishing Shack. But it was definitely no longer where he'd left it.

What he was looking at resembled a camping cabin - bunk beds, a couple chests, and decor that was decidedly feminine in nature. What the heck had happened? 

A pair of girl's feet made its way towards him. He gulped. The hole opened wide.

"THANK THE GODS, WE ARE SAVED!" cried Quark. He had to think fast, and this was the best opening he could muster on such short notice. "Thank you for saving us, dear girls! I am Priest Highhill, and my companions and I have been trapped here by the Demons of Air and Darkness!"

Four pairs of eyes stared back at him in disbelief and, he feared, skepticism.

"You see, I am a high priest of the Oresteia, and we three have been battling, you know, demons and such." He faltered. He wondered if they'd picked up on it. 

"Demons, you say..." One of the three, hair as red as her cloak, stepped forward with a furrowed brow. "And just where were you battling these demons? On Clotho? Under a shrubbery?"

Quark audibly gulped. He held his hands wide.

"Okay, okay, okay. I am not a high priest and we have not been battling the Demons of Air and Darkness. I apologize for the ruse." He chuckled in what he had hoped was a disarming way. He'd noticed one of the girls, who had skin as black as her cloak, had taken out a short sword and was now filing her nails with it. If ever was a time to disarm someone, Quark felt it was now. 

"So what were you three doing, in a hole, under a shrub, behind Ferb's place?" One of the girls, hair as brassy as the knuckles she'd slipped on her fingers, was speaking. "Ferb doesn't like people camping out in his back yard." Quark found many things he didn't like about this girl. One was the menace with which she seemed to speak. Another was the way he could somehow hear her speaking in italics. The third was the way she rubbed the metal knuckles on her cloak, like she was shining them - or as Quark feared most - like she was Shining them. 

The fourth, and probably most disconcerting thing about the girl was that she apparently had a twin. A twin who was also armed. Quark risked a quick glance at the second blonde. She had pulled what looked like a sock full of nickels from under her cloak - a cloak that was as brown as the dried blood stains that were splattered all over the bottom half of the sock. She began to pendulate the sock back and forth. There was at least twelve dollars' worth of nickels in there, by the look of it.

Quark gulped.

"I said what were you doing there?" Knuckles was inching closer as she spoke. So were the others. Added together, they had closed on him by over three feet. It was time for action. Quark swore under his breath. He unstoppered a green bottle and splashed its contents on the floor.

Green tendrils and vines shot up from the wooden floor. The girls cried out and tried to scramble away from the vines, but two of them weren't so lucky. The redhead and Knuckles had their arms pinned to their sides as they were pulled to the ground. The brass knuckles fell to the floor, and Corvo grabbed them as he hopped out of the hole. 

"Get them!" shrieked the redhead just as the vines covered her mouth. The other two leapt towards a bunk bed in order to escape entanglement. The remaining blonde started to whip the sock around quickly, as if she was about to hurl it at him. But there was a 'twingggg!' as Dreezle let loose a hand crossbow bolt, and it pierced her forearm and affixed it to the wall. The sock went cartwheeling away, and Quark noted with some satisfaction that there were indeed nickels spewing forth, like some sort of flying slot machine.

The black girl had leapt to the other end of the bunk bed, and was scrambling to retrieve something from under the pillow on the top bunk. Quark had a good idea that whatever it was, it would Be Bad. He grabbed another bottle from his bandolier and uncorked it. As the girl drew a particularly nasty-looking hand crossbow from beneath the pillow, he unleashed the grease spell...

Quick as a flash, the crossbow was covered in a shiny film, and it slipped from her hand and landed on the lush green carpet of vines. Quark let out a "haha!' just as he heard a window open up behind him.

"May I suggest an immediate egress in order to reassess our situation?" said Corvo. Quark turned to see the hurwaet already clambering through the opening, the Portable Hole folded up and clenched between his teeth. With a nod, Quark sent Corvo through next, and as he turned to face the girls, he backed slowly towards the window. 

The girls were livid, shrieking in pain and frustration. Quark smiled.

"We're sorry to leave you in such a state, but perhaps this will make things worse: You were fooled! We are the Demons of Air and Darkness!" 

Quark gave a madcap laugh and disappeared through the window out into the night. As they hurried down to the shore, they could hear the girls cursing. Oaths were muttered. Revenges were sworn. But none of it could dampen Quark's mood.

"Ummmm, what are we going to do about my boat?" moaned Dreezle. He looked despondently across the dark waters to Clotho. He'd traded a good set of gnome's knives for it, and he really kind of needed it. 

"Fear not, my little friend." Dreezle blurbled at the height joke. Quark uncorked another bottle, and a small, shimmering disc of force poured out. It hovered three feet from the ground.

"We're not all going to fit on that," Dreezle croaked. Quark looked at Dreezle, then at Corvo. Corvo sighed. 

"Get on," he grunted, as he got down on one knee. Quark lowered the disc to the ground and stepped on it. He turned to see Corvo stand up with a little effort, as well as a little Hurwaet on his back. Both of them looked less than happy about having to ride the disc for a mile over open water in the middle of the night. Quark turned to face the mainland as Corvo held onto his shoulders. He smiled.

"We’ll be taking off momentarily, so please make sure your carryon Hurwaet is stowed securely, either in on your shoulders or under your cloak. All weapons and other dangerous devices should be tucked away. There are infinite exits on this disc – in every direction, on every side. All exits are clearly marked with a precipitous drop into the ocean. Please take the time to find the exit nearest you."

The ocean breeze felt fine on Quark's face as they hovered off over the water. It had been an interesting night. The most interesting one he'd had in some time...