"I thought you said this would be a low-combat campaign..."

 The shimmering disc settled on the damp sand of the beach. Dreezle hopped of nimbly from Corvo's shoulders, and noted the sun was coming up. 

"Whatsh the plan now?"

Quark's brow wrinkled as he thought. 

"Well, I want to send a not to Lady Vivianna and let her know that we didn't mean to attack her girls, but that it was self-defense. What time does the Post Office open?"

"Not for another hour," said Corvo. He'd done so many errands for Quark over the years, the young elf knew the timetable of every business in town.

"Well, let's retire to Bartholomew's Fried Bread and Energetic Drinks for breakfast and wait till it opens."

The three walked the few blocks to Bartholomew's and took a seat at a table inside. They went over their plan to try and smooth things over with the head of the camp they'd sort of inadvertently attacked.

"Maybe nexsht time don't give your real name?" suggested the hurwaet, gently. Quark was still feeling a little cross about the whole encounter. Why were girls so mean? Why did all this happen to him? Alchemy is not a contact sport!

Quark was about to take a sip of his Double Dragon Espresso when Dreezle's arm shot out and grabbed his arm mid-sip.

"Don't look now but Knucklesh ish out there, and I think she'sh looking for ushh."

Quark looked out the window and saw one of the blonde girls talking to a fisherman. After a moment, he gestured towards the Fried Bread shop. Quark cursed under his breath.

"OK Corvo, here's what we're going to do..."

When Mincy carefully walked into the shop, she heard Quark raising his voice.

"I *told* you I didn't want to hurt them!" As he said these words, he looked out of the corner of his eye to see if his plan was working.

It was not.

"Hey! They're in here!" Mincy shouted out into the street where at least two of the other girls were waiting. Quark panicked. He hustled everyone out the back of the shop. He heard frustrated shouts from the shop as they exited the kitchen. Quark peered out the back door, which led to an alley. From the alley, he could see Bootsy hop down from a rooftop and head to the front of the shop. Quark waited, then hustled everyone out the alley, then took a right and headed up the street away from the storefront. A right, a left and another right and they were at the edge of the park. Quark listened, heart beating in his ears, but heard no pursuit.

"We have to get to the post office so I can send a message to Miss Vivianna. I'd like to apologize for the incident with the girls and perhaps arrange a meeting." Corvo and Dreezle shrugged. They didn't have a better plan, so they followed Quark as he carefully made his way through the park. The three of them looked this way and that, but saw no further sign of the girls.

Why were four campers pursuing them into town this early in the morning? Why didn't they go to Miss Vivianna first? What kind of camp was she running here? These questions and many more were running through Quark's mind as he penned a note and handed it to the mail clerk.

"I asked her to meet us at Ferb's at noon. Hopefully she'll let us explain ourselves."

"And hopefully the girls don't discover us and murder us by then,' said Corvo drily. 

"Yeah, about that," said Quark. maybe we should lay low somewhere." He scratched his chin absentmindedly. "Why don't we pay Bondril a visit? I want to talk to him about something."

Bondril was a Tinker Gnome - a specialist in brilliant if not chaotic mechanical constructs. He had been a good source of info for Quark ever since he'd come to Mea'ngaro years ago, and Quark wanted to know if he could help with something he'd been thinking about for some time.

The three made their way to Bondril's rumshackle tower, a metal construct that looked like a cross between a poorly-constructed telescope and a demented rocket ship. Triangular windows, menacing antennae and angry steam vents covered the tower, in no apparent pattern. 

Quark walked up to the front door and rang the gong.

"Come in! Come in!" Bondril chirped when he answered the door. "How can I help my mostly elven friend?" The three took one last look up and down the street before entering. The girls were nowhere in sight, but never out of mind. 

The four sat down in Bondril's sitting room/laboratory over tea and sausages. They discussed Quark's idea: he wanted to build a homonculus. While they were talking, a window shattered.

"They've found ush!" Dreezle hissed, and he hopped behind a couch and drew his weapon. More windows shattered, and Bootsy's face appeared in one of the openings.

"They're in here!" she shouted, Quark assumed, to the other girls. Everyone scrambled for cover. Quark cursed not under his breath.

Before he knew it, the air was filled with smoke and missiles. Bondril blew a whistle and suddenly a number of what looked like armored rats appeared from a tiny door in one wall to march across the floor at the girls. In the ensuing chaos, Clair fired a bola gun but missed wildly, capturing a lamp instead.

Dreezle leapt out from his place behind the couch only to miss Bootsy altogether and skid across the floor through a pile of broken glass. Corvo attempted to swing at Mirth, but she dodged him, only to see Quark peeking over the back of the couch. With a cry she unleashed her sock full of nickels, and swinging with all her might, caught Quark right in the temple, causing him to see stars unlike any he'd ever seen while Spelljamming. He crumpled to the floor, clutching his head. 

He heard more shrieks and curses as his friends scrapped with his newfound enemies. He saw Mincy get taken down by at least two dozen rats. They squeaked with rage as they gnawed at her cloak and tried to pierce her with tiny halberds. What other defenses did Bondril have in this place? He made a note never to try and sneak into his tower uninvited.

Just as he had that thought, he saw Bondril unhook something from his belt. It looked like a tiny, demented telescope. With a determined grin, Bondril knelt and slammed the telescope tiny end first into the floor. As the thing collapsed in upon each of its segments, it started to crackle with bluish lightning.

"Wait, was the entire floor metal?" he thought to himself as, quick as a flash, the blue sparks arced across the floor. That's when Quark noticed Bondril's rubber boots. And gloves. And kneepads.

"Oh, shi-"

Quark woke up with an enormous headache. Corvo was leaning over him, blurrily whispering something he had a hard time hearing. The last think he remembered was both of his ears going !pop!

"I said we've captured one of them," Corvo announced as he helped Quark to his feet. In one corner of the room, Mincy aka Sock Full o' Nickels, was tied to a chair and looking quite sullen. Bondril was interrogating her. The spittle on his apron said he wasn't getting anywhere.

"I ain't telling you shit," she cursed. Whatever Miss Vivianna was teaching these girls, it certainly wasn't manners. Quark walked over to her. He'd had enough of playing nice. He leaned over her and place his hands on the arms of the chair, bringing his face level with hers.

"You're going to tell us why you're A) trying to kill us, B) following us into town and away from your camp, and C) trying to kill us. We have ways of extracting the truth from you," he lied. 

The girl looked into his eyes with a mixture of hatred and disgust.

"Fuck you," she spat. She then grimaced, and Quark could hear what sounded like teeth crunching. Mincy gasped, coughed, and foamed at the mouth. Before anyone could do anything, Mincy's head drooped to her chest. Her whole body relaxed as she slumped into the chair, lifeless. As the four watched in horror, Mincy's last breath left her body, and as it did, her body started to tremble. It quivered and shrank inside her cloak, and as it did, her features started to blur and twist, as she became something else entirely. 

Bondril walked over and, grabbing her by the thick brown hair, tilted her head back to reveal that she was no longer herself, but a bearded dwarf. 

"What the-" Dreezle wheezed.

Quark just nodded to himself. Things were beginning to make sense- no, wait, that must be the likely concussion talking. Things were actually making less sense now. 

He was confused. And he hated being confused. 

It was time to knuckle down and find out what the hells was going on, before someone got hurt.

More hurt that the dwarf, that is.